


Not Again

by vampgirl999



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Humor, Peridot is forever suffering, jasper is an asshole, lime green doritos are a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampgirl999/pseuds/vampgirl999
Summary: Peridot regrets taking Jasper shopping.





	

 

     He was making that face again. Peridot glared and – once she was certain the toddler’s mother had her back turned – stuck her tongue out in response. Much to her irritation, it only made the smaller human – and temporary bane of her existence – laugh at her before the cart was pushed away, leaving her alone in the bread aisle once more. The short woman scowled and shoved up her glasses, all but stomping down the next aisle as she gathered what was needed for the week.

     Bread, milk, eggs, mountain dew – the essentials. Plus some protein bars for Jasper to take with her to the gym. Speaking of which…

     Peridot made her way down the aisle and cast a wary eye in each direction, ignoring the odd looks she received from nearby patrons. When she didn’t spy her girlfriend’s well-built physique amongst the crowds, she grinned slightly to herself and quickly made her way towards the back of the store. Her prize lay in one of the more packed aisles, settled between several rows of colorful bags: Lime Green Doritos. A necessary snack for any proper gaming night, no matter what the others claimed. Gleefully, Peridot snagged several bags, carefully placing them amongst the other groceries.

     That just left Jasper. The shorter woman frowned, briefly debating just moving on. She certainly deserved it, with how often she compared Peridot to the aforementioned chips – and got them kicked out of the store.

     But still. She sighed. Jasper was more likely to complain if she _didn’t_ think of her while she was here. Making her choice, she pulled out her cellphone – decorated with various alien head stickers – and sent a short text.

 

**@ chip aisle – u want anything? – P**

     Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she waited for her girlfriend’s chime – Pierre’s theme from Camp Pining Hearts – to go off.

     Two minutes passed, and still no response.

     Growing irritated, Peridot fished out her phone, sending another text.

 

     **yes or no???**

....

     It had officially been five minutes since she sent the first text, and there was still no response. Peridot was fuming now. She had sent Jasper to the other side of the store to pick up hair product for both of them – hoping it would keep her out of trouble – but it shouldn’t be taking _this_ long! Unless Jasper had gotten caught up in choosing hairsprays again, and was ignoring her phone…

     Peridot yanked out her phone and called her.

     “Hello?” A deep voice responded not a moment later.

     “Do you want any chips or not?!” She demanded, her voice shrill with annoyance.

     A booming shout echoed down the aisle. Peridot yelped and dropped her phone, sending it clattering to the linoleum floor.

     “I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS!”

     “ ** _JASPER!!”_**

\-------

     They were kicked out, again. At least security had allowed her to pay for her groceries, this time.

     Driving back home, Jasper had a shit-eating grin on her face. Peridot refused to look at her.

     “Hey, Peri.” She ignored her.

     “Peri…” Nope, not gonna happen.

     “Peri!” The car jerked. Peridot whipped around in the passenger’s seat.

     “ _What?!”_ She snapped, furious. Jasper’s grin widened.

     “Isn’t it cannibalistic to eat your own kind?”

     “Fuck off!”

     “I mean, I’m _always_ a slut for doritos…” A heavy hand traced her thigh. Peridot squirmed, cheeks flushing as she glared stubbornly out the window.

     “I am **never** taking you shopping again.”

     “Aww, c’mon Peri, it was funny!”

     “YOU GOT US KICKED OUT OF WALMART FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH YOU CLOD!”

     Jasper just laughed and sped up the truck.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a funny idea I had. Comments/critiques always welcome! :D


End file.
